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Friends -- With Benefits
We've all been there. That long, seemingly endless drought during which time you get no play. No action. No sweet lovin'. The dating life is mediocre, and you've got no prospects. But as we've proven time and time again, we're a resourceful bunch....
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ET Phone Home
Last week I felt like the mother in the commercial, where her
son shows her a good report card, and she starts to cry. My son
is growing up. He pulled up his grades. I wish he could do the
same for his pants, but one thing at a time.
We...
IT'S AWESOME AUGUST AGAIN!
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. IT'S AWESOME AUGUST AGAIN Or, what else did you think it was? **Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon August, the eighth month of the year, is to put it bluntly …the worst...
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Welcome Aboard, Chief Justice Roberts
Hello, Mr. Roberts!
Let me be the first to welcome you to your first full day here at your new job of Chief Justice of the Supreme Court! I know you'll enjoy working here as much as we do. I'm sure you're ready to get started, so let's get...
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Floorspace
Floorspace
By Dan Reinhold
Odd how frightening the unknown can be.
The other day, I encountered something so rare and unusual, it was like a dream.
The last unexplored and little understood frontier.
Floorspace.
With two boys in the house, pandemonium is the norm. Both toys and clothing desert the confines of bureaus and shelves, instead preferring to claim their rightful place on the bedroom floor where they are much closer to hand.
The wide expanses upon which we walk provide a home to all that land upon it - wrappers, paper, books, blankets, hermit crabs...
Oh...that's another story.
The reassuring squishes, crunches and snaps bring comfort to the young overseers, confident that somewhere below...the floor is there.
I entered this domain with an awe borne of my desensitisation to shock at the sight. Valiant and determined forays to tame the wilderness had always been undone by its rapid regrowth, rivaling any spreading menace known to man.
This day, my eye lit upon a sight so strange, so wondruous that I was transfixed by it. The legends were true, the evidence revealed...In the middle of the room, was a flat,, shallow space
foreign to its surroundings. It was like gazing upon the Holy Grail.
Floorspace.
Fearful at the sight no parent of boys had seen, I began to sweat and shiver, with a deep ache within. I stood frozen as the two overseers entered the room.
"Hi,
Dad!"
"Uh...Dad?"
"What's up with Dad??"
My mouth moved, but no sound came forth as I pointed toward the mystery.
"Think he's OK?"
"Yeah...probably just a heart attack or something"
"Oh.......wanna play ball?"
"OK!!"
Side note: Should you ever need assistance while in my area, I highly recommend the local paramedic service. Very prompt and efficient, although their dispatchers require further training in interpreting gasps and chokes...
Staring at the ambulance ceiling light, I felt a sense of peace and enlightenment.
Let others pursue Shangri-La.
I had seen...Floorspace.
Working at home provides Dan Reinhold with many out-of-your-mind experiences. That's why he's the editor of WAHumor, the humor newsletter by and for the work at home community, so that others may keep their grasp on what little sanity can be found in the crazy work at home world! Launching on August 2...www.WAHumor.com!!! For details about our special pre-launch goodie, go to Launchpromo@sendfree.com
About the Author
Working at home provides Dan Reinhold with many out-of-your-mind experiences. That's why he's the editor of WAHumor, the humor newsletter by and for the work at home community, so that others may keep their grasp on what little sanity can be found in the crazy work at home world! Launching on August 2...www.WAHumor.com!!! For details about our special pre-launch goodie, go to Launchpromo@sendfree.com
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